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Fallout Story #1 'Untitled'- I wrote this 25 page epic for my OAC Writer's Craft class. It's set in the Fallout CRPG universe, and I seem to remember getting a very high mark for it. It's about a small Caribbean Island, based on Barbados, that suddenly finds itself alone in a world ravaged by nuclear war.
Fallout Story #2 'Untitled' - This was when I started writing these stories for fun (and later, for publication on Unwashed Villagers' websites). Set around in the same period, this tells the tale of the war from the perspective of a soldier stationed in Europe.
Fallout Story #3 'Untitled' - Another view of the war, this time centred around two best friends living in Japan.
Fallout Story #4 'Johnny's Story' - My final Fallout-exclusive story, this is told from the perspective of a young boy living in California at the time of the war.
Dark Continent - This was supposed to be an epic about a bunch of students who go on holiday for the millenium, but end up stranded in Africa when the Y2k bug causes society to collapse. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of mentioning this to my father who explained I was wasting my time writing something nobody would care about after the year 2000. Although I was doing this just for fun, the effort he put into dissuading me worked, and this is as far as I got. Thanks, dad.
Code: Apple Blossom White - Fallout strikes back. This is written for a System Shock 2 site called 'The Divine Seed Chronicles', where you are encouraged to mix System Shock 2's villain SHODAN with your favourite game or sci-fi setting. This story takes place a few days before the war, when a scientist in California has a unexpected encounter with one of SHODAN's interdimensional probes...
'Dialogue' - Another Writer's Craft assignment, my friend Catherine and I wrote this, basing it on one Peter Magi, nerdalinger extraordinaire. We were trying to guess what he'd be like when he grew up, and how his neighbours would react...
'Character Sketch Thingy' - Still another Writer's Craft assignment. Based on the Richard Karinsky character from 'Caroline in the City', this chronicles a pivotal day in the life of Martin Spiteri, miserable black overcoat-wearing loner.
'Ghost Story' - Bride of Writer's Craft assignments. Again collaboration with Catherine and two other people whose names I forget (sorry!). A semi-spooky tale of messages from beyond the grave, mixed with subtle Wiccan influences. I should also sue Matt Groening for beating him here with the name 'Bender'.
Untitled Script - Escape from the Planet of Writer's Craft assignments. Permanent fixture Catherine continues to contribute, in this case to a screenplay-writing assignment. A thrilling tale of intrigue, murder, and pr0n obsessed Vietnam veterans.
Melvin and Bart - The Writer's Craft assignments strike(s) back. Collaboration with some guy called Will, the first part is missing (although it was just a paragraph). Not the most interesting story, it only becomes amusing when you read it aloud in front of the entire class whilst affecting silly voices for the various characters.
18 Months in Mongolia - A disillusioned Nazi attempts to escape the depressing Third Reich and join the usual isolated monastery. Not that good (or long).
Lina Story #1 - Introducing Lina Robertson, the latest in a series of anime-styled bumbling sci-fi characters! In today's special double-length episode, ambitious Lina gets her first stationing, but it's not what she expected.
Lina Story #2 - The continuing misadventures of Lt. Lina Robertson, space adventurer! In today's episode, Lina rushes urgently needed medical supplies to a planet stricken by SPACE PLAGUE!
Intrepid #1 - Media Literacy project. A Wing Commander/anime style script. In this story, the ship is attacked by the evil aliens.
Intrepid #2 - For fun. In this story, the crew go on shore leave to a space-mall.
Intrepid #3 - Unfinished. In this story, Molly and Miko crash-land on a barren planet.
Intrepid Character Outlines - Yes, I am aware I nicked the name from La Blue Girl.
Operation Flashpoint Story #1 - A thrilling recollection of the 'Ambush' mission from the eyes of Corporal Armstrong.
Operation Flashpoint Story #2 - Another exciting tale of war and not much peace, this time from a helicopter door gunner stranded behind enemy lines. From the 'Missing in Action' mission.
Operation Flashpoint Story #3 - Yes, again. A riveting adventure (snore...) about a last desperate attempt to stave off a Soviet invasion.
BATMAN of the Future and Dragonball Z The man in the cave is, in fact, Bruce Wayne.
Insects! See them crawling! Out to get you! Like an insect!
Favourite Game System - Part one in a series.
ARCADE = Big FAT idiots! Well, they are. Er, were.
Caaaaardiff Taxi! The popular arcade game gets a Welsh twist. A beloved post.
Anime = better than real life? Who wouldn't want a girl who can jump 50 feet in the air?
SimPartyTime Apologies for all the lesbians.
Touring Cars Combine the best parts of F1 and NASCAR, and nobody watches it.
Bubblegun's He-Man thing It's actually about Spiderman, Hercules and, er... Rocket Robin Hood.
Nothing quite like a McDonald's Well, apart from Harvey's, Burger King, Wendy's...
Going on a train going going As much fun as a school trip, right down to annoying miserable old people and being told off!
Sierra Adventure Games Or, 'Attempting to avoid instant death Quest IV'
A rubbish night out Not the first, but definitely in a series.
BUY ALL YOUR GAMES FROM TESCOS I DEMAND IT muhuhu Just read it!
Motorists Where Mr. Walker becomes Mr. Wheeler...
Pedestrians Just to show I'm not biased or anything.
Oh it's such perfect day Often I have good nights to make up for bad ones, and vice-versa.
Ferrari F355 Challenge Featuring sexx0r, fast cars,
and Aika Miura!
Ronald Mcdonald. I'm still not sure what this was about.
BOOM (or Fish's fun with his new power supply) Grotesque anal-ogy included.
Hidden and Dangerous Field Reports As written by our field correspondent.
The Daily Driver Cuss: Compendium No, really, the game was that bad.
TRAINS SUPERTEST! PC Zone World Exclusive Fake Article! Having been on seven seperate lines in a single day, I feel qualified to rate them. Out of ten.
Best (and worst) console accessories, ever! All those zero-gee joysticks get theirs.
The Cungt for Red October Or, 'The Kursk beyond the Bad Taste Boundary'.
Totty on the Train Lovely ladies on Britain's rails... and I have to get off (at the next station).
Predict-o-fun: Top Ten 2010AD We guess at amusing games that should be out in (at the time) ten years.
3D Belly Trading tales of amusing vomitage.
Airport, Inc. Discussion of this dodgy airport management game turns into a mad rant. As usual.
Oh my! Discussion of Marie Du Caunes takes a saucy turn.
1 GN0 W07 J00 D1D |457 5UMM0RZ Or, for those who don't speak l33t (read more MegaTokyo), a random discussion of various things. Amusing.
ARCADE CUSS: Part the first I lay into the poor mag yet again, tearing at its badness with my talons of sharpness.
PC-o-Fun! Why I now consider the PC a tool, and not an entertainment device.
Cymru An amusing version of the Welsh National Anthem. Boyo.
TGI Friday's How can an American restaurant from the States manage to get it as wrong as European-based 'American' restaurants?
GAYNESS EX REALLY IS GAYNESS EX, YES REALLY The best PC game ever turns out to be not quite so bestest. Deus Ex my ass.
It's back! The Arcade Cuss! More japery with everyone's favourite mag that thinks its a lot cooler than it really is.
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE An exceptionally stupid post gets the fire directed back at it.
Old Games Ph33r I try to invent career choices for Twilight 2000, rather than what I should be doing (playing Crazy Taxi).
Switch to SKY DIGITAL! Because Rupert will get you.
Videogamer Cuss (to replace ARCADE) They relaunch the mag at a fifth of the price, half the pages, but all the badness.
Star Wars Episode 2 My take on what the script REALLY will be.
Elite 4 Autoprint Well, from alt.fan.elite actually, but they're talking about making stupid plugins that would send you SMS messages when your ship is attacked, and so on.
HOT TOPIC: BAH! A satire of those 'Choose your own adventure' books from childhood. You know, where you are allowed one decision and then on the next page your character makes about 12 of them, all wrong, and dies stupidly.
Game and ngh... Watch I'm not sure what the original point was, but it does contain the lovely word 'twat-o-caster'.
Greatest Ad... ever! Or 'How British people are stupid because they don't put fucking marshmallows into cereal any more'.
Lula: Virtual Babe Actually an IRC log, but someone then posted it, so it counts... I grill some poor dork who bought this toon sex game, and yes, I get very very rude. You are warned.
Codemasters Tales of the now-huge game company's shaky start in North America, not featuring 'Melvin teh qualeitey bunney'
My Incredible Adventure Where I set out to play all the way through System Shock 2 in one go, but wind up being anally raped by my PC doing what it does best: not what I want it to.
Half-Life vs. GAYNESS EX The lead characters from the two supposed best games ever square off. I think this is one of the best posts I've ever written, so naturally almost nobody responded to it.
Jean Dangleberry's ANDROMEDA Am I sick for thinking Trance Gemini is cute?
More Batman of the Future I get bored, and decide to rip it out of this really dire program again.
