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My hen laid a haddock,
one hand oiled a flea,
Glad farts and centurions
threw dogs in the sea
I could stew a hare here and
brandish Dan's flan,
Don's ruddy bog's blocked
up with sand.

Chorus:
Dad! Dad! Why don't you
oil Auntie Gad?
Can't whores appear in beer
bottle pies?
O butter the hens
as they fly!

Ffion allegedly deployed this version to help husband William Hague
get to grips with the anthem when Hague succeeded Redwood as Welsh
Secretary.

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Archfarchnad!